No Turning Back
by WaitingForMidnight
Summary: Up until that point it felt like I had spent my whole life waiting. Waiting on my life to change, my mom to change, my life, anything really. It wasn't until that point that I realized nothing was ever going to change and that waiting was getting me nowhere. Maybe that's why I didn't stop it. Maybe that's why I let it go on so long. Maybe. Or not.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **A/N: NSFW. Proceed with caution and at your own risk. Deals with mature content matter and may be a trigger for some regarding an age difference in a relationship.**

 **Prologue**

Up until that point it felt like I had spent my whole life waiting. Waiting on my life to change, my mom to change, my self, anything really. It wasn't until that point that I realized nothing was ever going to change and that waiting was getting me nowhere. Maybe that's why I didn't stop it. Maybe that's why I let it go on so long. Maybe. Or not.

Either way, I can't say that even if I had known that, that I would have stopped it. Or wanted to.

The summer I turned seventeen was the summer my mother moved us from the dreary little town in Upstate New York to a suburb of Chicago.

It was like the clouds suddenly lifted and the world was my oyster. It also helped that my tits had blossomed and my hair had finally realized that trying to kill me was going to get it nowhere. I liked the way the guys in Chicago looked at me as opposed to the same immature boys I'd grown up with back home.

No. Not home.

I was determined to put it behind me. To start over. To start fresh.

I was going to be different, I told myself. Or so I thought.

That was until he walked in.

And yeah, maybe I should have stopped it. But what was it going to hurt?

In the end, I'd find out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **A/N: NSFW. Deals with mature subject matter and may be a trigger for some. Proceed with caution.**

 **Chapter 1**

My mother was going to kill me. I was sure of that as I stared down at the dent in the fender of her car. She was going to murder me and then blame it on the cat at this rate.

It wasn't like I was a 'problem' child but she couldn't be bothered to put the past behind her and every few days all I heard was how she had had to leave her boyfriend behind to move me here.

She didn't think I heard either, the whispered words as I left the room, the side long glances that showed me just how much of a slut she thought her daughter was. But hear I did.

I laughed to myself sardonically as I reached out, kicking the tire in frustration.

"Hey." I jumped and looked up, taking a step back as the dude approached me.

He was huge. And that was an understatement. His gangly arms hung loosely as he reached up to push his glasses up further on his nose and I smiled a little at the irony of his t-shirt that read "ripped" that sat loosely on his frame. He reached up, running a hand over the short brown fuzz on top of his head.

"You okay?" He finally asked, setting his gym bag down on the ground by his feet and I nodded.

"Some ass hole put a pole here." I ground out, looking back to the dent in the car as I willed myself not to cry in front of a stranger.

He laughed then, leaning down to inspect the damage and I was glad for the distraction as I turned to blink and swipe at my eyes.

"Doesn't look too bad." He said, pulling himself back up and holding out his hand. "I'm Emmett."

"Rosalie." I sighed. "I just… can't even with my mom right now."

"I hear ya." He replied, reaching up to swipe a hand across the back of his neck. "I just graduated. My dad's been on my ass to make up my mind."

"Assholes."

"Look, my little sister's friend works at a shop here in town. I'm sure he could get this fixed for you no problem." I watched as he leaned down, pulling a pen and a discarded receipt out of his bag and scribbling down some numbers. "Just tell him I sent you and I'll make sure it gets taken care of."

"If I'm alive by then." I snarked as I reached out and grabbed the offering.

"You new in town?"

"Umm.. yeah?" I said. "Why?"

He laughed then, a deep chuckle as he pointed to the New York tags. "Figured as much. Look, just tell your mom some jackass hit you in the parking lot but offered to pay you for it so you wouldn't call the cops."

I rolled my eyes. "I may be blonde but I'm not stupid. She'll know even I wouldn't fall for that."

He frowned for a minute then, his eyebrows knitting together. "I don't think you're stupid Rosalie. Just…give her my number. I'll take care of it."

I bit my lip as he pulled the paper out of my hand and scrawled his own name and number across the top before pushing it back in to my hand before he shouldered his gymbag with a smile.

"Why?" I asked as he started to turn to walk away.

"Because you're too pretty to be murdered by your own mom." He said with a wink and I watched as he walked away.

I smiled and slipped the receipt in to my pocket, hoping like hell that my mom would buy my shit story and perhaps spare me one more day.

(LINE BREAK)

I had hoped that my mom would be pulling more hours at the store to give me enough time to call the number Emmett had given me and get something set up so I cursed when I pulled up to see the lights on in the house and the front door open, a strange car parked in the driveway.

My steps were heavy as I marched to the front door, throwing my bag down on the hall table before I made my way towards the kitchen where the sound of voices ran together with the sound of food cooking.

I should have known then, considering my mother only cooks when she's drunk or when she's looking to get laid, but I kept going forward.

Sure enough she was there, donning the apron I had made her in some after school class when I as in third grade or some shit. She smiled at me when I came around the corner and it was only then that I saw him.

He was sitting at the little table in the kitchen, nursing a beer, while the dying light of the sun peeked through the window, illuminating his hair. I felt my heart stutter and my feet stopped moving as I drank in the sight before me.

"Ah." He said, his blue eyes meeting mine as he jumped to his feet. "You must be Rosalie. I've heard so much about you."

I could feel the corner of my lips quirk up as he crossed the room, hand extended, and even though I had a thing about touching people I felt my own hand slip in to his like it had a damn mind of its own. His skin was cool and as soon as my palm was in his it was like a stone had settled in my stomach, heavy and deep. His fingers tightened around mine and I looked up to see him staring down at me, his face serious and his eyes searching. Time seemed to slow down entirely and I felt myself leaning towards him ever so slightly when my damn mother cleared her throat and he let go of my hand, far too soon.

"I wrecked the car." I said too quickly when I met her narrowed eyes. "Well… I didn't wreck it but someone backed in to me at the gym."

"Rosalie Lillian…" She hissed but yet I noticed the smile never left her face.

"No, mom. It's fine. The guy was an asshat but he gave me his name and number and told me he'd pay for it to be fixed himself."

"Rosalie." She sighed before she looked at Carlisle. "Can you excuse me and my daughter for a moment?"

"Certainly." He nodded and she reached out, grabbing my arm as she directed me back towards the living room.

"Rosalie, I cannot believe…" she started, her voice tense and loud before she stopped and took a deep breath, gripping the edge of the sofa before she started again. "I don't understand how you became so stupid. People do this all the time, they tell you they'll pay for something and give you a false name or number. I thought you would have known better by now."

I could feel the heat rising to my face as I blinked against the hot angry tears that were starting to threaten my lashes as I grabbed the receipt out of my pocket. "Here, find out for yourself how stupid I am."

I didn't wait for her response as I jetted up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door behind me, falling across my bed as I finally, finally let the tears stream down my face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **A/N: Deals with mature subject matter. NSFW. Proceed with caution and at your own risk.**

 **Also, this story is finished. Hope to post twice a week**

 **Chapter 3**

The sun woke me the next morning and I groaned as I realized I had fallen asleep fully clothed and sprawled sideways across my bed as my neck protested my sudden movement.

I slipped out of bed and kicked off my shoes before I headed to the bathroom in the hallway. I made quick work of my wrinkled clothes, tossing them in the hamper as I slipped in to the shower and scrubbed at my tear streaked and stiff cheeks. Once I was sure the evidence of my break down was gone I hopped out, wrapping my towel around me before I headed back to my room.

I had only just opened the door when I ran smack dab in to a firm body and strong hands reached out, grabbing my bare shoulders to steady me as I looked up to meet Carlisle's eyes.

"I'm…" He said, removing his hands from my shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry." I argued. "I should have watched where I was going."

He laughed then and I felt the swarm of butterflies kick up in my stomach and I reached up to brush the wet hair out of my face as the towel slipped out of my grasp.

I saw his eyes as my breast was exposed, the barest of glances before his own cheeks flamed and he looked anywhere but at me and I instantly missed the feel of his blue eyes.

"I should go." He said as he side stepped out of the way and I nodded, letting him move past me and in to the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind him before I made my way to my room and did the same.

It was only then, as I sat on my bed, dripping wet and shivering, that I realized that Carlisle using our bathroom at seven o'clock in the morning could only mean one thing and I felt my stomach turn as I thought about my mother touching him the way he had touched me.

Because for some reason, the feel of his hands on my shoulder's hand made me shiver, and not from the cold.

* * *

I was eating a pop tart in my room when my phone rang and I answered it, despite not recognizing the number.

"Hey." The voice said, gruff and deep.

"Um… hey?" I said hesitantly only to be met with laughter.

"It's Emmett."

"Oh. Hey…Emmett. Should I be worried that you have my number?" I asked slowly as he laughed uproariously on the other end of the line.

"Nah. You're mom called me, told me I was a douche bag and then asked if I was sure I wasn't some doped up gangster who was going to rob her blind or something like that."

"No she did not." I gasped as I hit my forehead with my palm. "What a bitch. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He chuckled. "We all got a kick out of it. Anyway, I'm here at Clearwater's, Jake said bring down your car and he can get it straightened out."

I groaned. "I wish I could but… I can't really afford it."

"It's fine. It's taken care of." He assured me before he rattled off an address and I quickly said good-bye and shoved the rest of my poptart in my mouth before I headed downstairs.

"Mom." I called as I slid to a stop in front of the door, slipping my shoes on. "Mom?"

"What Rose?" My mom appeared at the top of the stairs, tucking in her shirt and I felt the lead in my stomach tense up again as I fought to not picture Carlisle with her.

"I'm taking the car out to the shop."

"Where is it?" she asked before I rattled off the address just as Carlisle appeared behind her, a picture of elegance.

"I know where that is." He said, "She'll be fine."

Satisfied with Carlisle's answer she nodded, excusing me, before she turned and headed back towards her bedroom and I fished the keys out of my purse.

"You'll be okay?" Carlisle's voice asked and I looked up, shocked to find that he had moved down the stairs and was standing within mere feet of me.

"Um… yeah." I said as I pulled my long blonde hair up and secured it with a ponytail from my wrist.

"Alright." He said and turned to look up the stairs once more. I took that as another dismissal and turned to leave just as his hand reached out, gently grabbing my arm. "Let me give you my number, in case you need anything."

Numbly, I nodded and handed over my phone as he quickly typed his number in and pushed send before disconnecting the call just as quickly before handing it back to me.

"Be safe." He said and I watched as he turned and walked back up the stairs, never once looking back to me.

* * *

"These are delicious." I mumbled around a mouthful of cheese fries as I sat across from Emmett.

"I told you." He laughed, sipping his coke. "So where are you going to school at?"

I managed to stop shoving my face full of food long enough to tell him I would be going to Calvary as he laughed and shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing it's just, that's where I went to school and where my sister goes. You'll meet her I'm sure."

"What's her name?" I asked uneasily.

"Bella. Well, technically Isabella Swan but she hates that." He gestured as he dipped a fry in ketchup before unceremoniously shoving it in his mouth. "What's wrong?"

"Oh." I said, looking up, not having realized I was glowering at the food in front of me. "I just… I don't get along well with others."

He laughed. "Seem to get along well with me just fine."

I rolled my eyes and chucked my empty, balled up straw wrapper at him. "That's because you're… you. I don't know."

"My sister isn't like other girls." Emmett finally said. "I mean, she hates girly things and she doesn't talk about others. You would like her I think. You remind me of her."

His face after that was almost worth the whole price of lunch as he realized he had just compared me to his sister.

"I didn't mean… shit."

I laughed and tucked in to more fries just as my phone started ringing. I fished it out, trying not to get it greasy as I saw "C. Cullen" flash across the screen and my lips pulled up as I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Rose?" He asked, and I felt my inside's turn to jell-o. No one _ever_ called me Rose if I could help it but I would gladly let him say it all day, every day if I could only hear it every time.

"Yeah, what's up?" I said once I was sure my voice wouldn't betray me.

"Oh, it's just… it's getting late, I wanted to make sure everything was alright."

I pulled my phone back then to realize that it was after nine already and I looked at Emmett who was nonchalantly reading the menu like he wasn't listening to every word I was saying.

"I didn't realize how late it was. My car still isn't finished so I'll just catch a bus…"

"No." Carlisle said quickly. "I'll come and get you."

"I don't want to be any trouble…"

"None at all." He assured me before he clarified my location once more and hung up with the promise to be there soon.

"I have to go." I said to Emmett.

"Boyfriend?" Emmett guessed and I laughed.

"No."

"Could have fooled me." Emmett said defeatedly.

"No. I mean… it's not like that. At all. He's… older." I tried to explain and it was then I realized I don't even know how old Carlisle was, or anything else about him really.

"My dad was twelve years older than my mom." He smirked. "I'm a year older than you."

I snorted and finished cleaning up the table in front of me. "It's really not like that."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

"My mom." I all but growled. "She's…if you look up the definition of hot mess, it will have her picture beside it. But she's an easy lay and gorgeous and guys like that shit I guess."

"So he's fucking your mom?" He asked, his mouth agape and I sighed. "He's fucking your mom and you have the hots for him?"

"Can you not say it like that?" I mumbled as I looked down at the table.

"I'm sorry Rosalie. I didn't mean…" Emmett started but I shook my head.

"It's fine. It's stupid, I know. I wish…"

I jumped when Emmett's hand met mine on the table and I let him hold it there for a moment before the jingle of the bells over the door pulled us apart and I looked to see Carlisle standing in the doorway, his eyes searching before they landed on me.

"That's him." Emmett said.

And even though it wasn't a question, I smiled as I nodded and stood up to head towards Carlisle, not even telling Emmett good-bye.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **A/N: NSFW. Deals with mature subject matter and sexual situations between an adult and a younger person. Proceed with caution at your own risk.**

 **Chapter 4**

"What do you want to know?" Carlisle laughed as he drove down the street, his hand on the gear shift. "I'm not a very interesting person."

"How old are you?" I asked quickly before I could lose my nerve.

"Twenty-four." He answered as he took another turn, his eyes never even leaving the road.

"Where are you from?"

"Here." He said. "Well, technically I was born in England. My father was stationed there, but he left my mother and me and she moved back here to live with her mother. My grandmother pretty much raised me."

"Favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Like, generic blue or cereulean blue?" I laughed as we pulled up to a stoplight.

He hesitated as he leaned to look up at the light before he turned back to me. "Like the blue of your eyes."

The light changed then and we moved forward as I tried to catch my breath. The questions I had wanted to ask were long gone as we pulled up to the house and I realized my mom wasn't home yet.

Carlisle put the car in park and I leaned against the door, not ready to leave his presence yet.

"Rose…I…"

It was then, as I sat in his car and stared at him from the dim light of the street lamps above us, that I just could take it anymore. Before I could think I was leaning over the arm rest and pulling his lips to mine. He answered in kind as he ran his fingers through my hair, pulling me closer to him as his tongue coaxed my lips apart and I allowed it as I moved to be closer to him.

His hands were rough yet gentle as he explored the top half of my body and dammit if I didn't want more. I reached down, stilling his movements as I guided his hand up my shirt and in to the cup of my bra as his tongue intensified and his hand cupped my breast as he squeezed.

Suddenly his hand was gone and then I was pushed back, leaning against the seat as I panted for breath and stared at the man before me.

"I can't." He said, his voice angry and sad at the same time. "Get out."

"Carlisle…" I started to argue but he started the car and I resigned, knowing it was no use.

I watched as I walked up the walk until his taillights had disappeared and I let myself in, leaning against the door as I tried to will away the feeling of rejection as well as the yearning between my thighs.

On heavy legs I walked to my bedroom, locking the door behind me as I let my hand trail down and found my own center as thoughts of Carlisle and his tongue played in my mind.

* * *

Three weeks passed and I didn't see Carlisle.

School started up and my mother spent nights away from home and I knew, I just _knew_ she was with him. The thought both hurt and angered me and I couldn't let myself think about it for too long or the nausea and

Emmett called me almost daily and if he didn't call then he would text and it felt normal and right but not the way I knew he wanted it to.

My dreams were haunted by the blonde hair and the stormy blue eyes and I found myself thinking of him while I helped myself over the edge time and time again.

I was at school the day it all changed. Emmett had asked me to hang out at his house the night before and I hadn't even thought about it as I stayed later and later. By the time I was ready to call it a night, we decided I might as well stay and catch a ride with Bella in the morning. The thought to let my mom know where I was had never even occurred to me. That was my first mistake.

My second mistake came at lunch time as I sat outside, enjoying the still summer sun, when the shiny blue car pulled in. I knew immediately who it was and my heart quickened as he pulled to a stop nearby. I watched with bated breath as he stepped out of the car and walked in my direction. I should have gotten up and left. I should have told him where I had been the night before and walked away. I should have done anything but get up and meet him halfway.

"Rose." His voice reminded me of chocolate milk, thick and velvety and the way he said my name made me shiver as goosebumps broke out over my arms.

"Carlisle."

"You didn't go home last night." It wasn't a question.

Suddenly, I couldn't help it. This man owed me nothing, I was a stupid teenage girl with a crush on an older man who may or may not hate me, yet I couldn't control the anger that surged through me. "And I didn't know you were my father now. Or does fucking my mother automatically qualify you for that position?"

He stepped back, his lips pulling together and his brow furrowed and despite the fact that I really would have liked to kick him in the balls, I also wanted to hug him.

"I'm sorry." I rectified. "that's not…"

"Get in the car." He interrupted, not bothering to pause as he immediately started back the way he came and slid in the driver's seat.

I should have told him no, I should have walked away while I still could, and instead I found myself seated on his heated leather seats as he shifted gears and silence settled over us.

"Where are we going?" I asked and watched as he ignored me and continued driving. "Carlisle."

"Stop." He said, his voice gentle but firm. "Don't say my name."

Something about his tone had me turned in my seat to scrutinize him. And it was only then that I realized he wasn't mad, he didn't even look frustrated. He looked terrified.

"My lunch is almost over." I finally said as I glanced at the clock on the dashboard.

"I'll call you in." He said quickly before he pulled in to a parking garage.

"Ethical use of your degree I guess." I laughed and smiled when I saw the corner of his lips pull up.

He said nothing else as he slid his car in to the parking spot reserved for number 394 and turned the engine off. He was out of the car and around to my side before I had even had time to realize we were at his apartment building and then he was helping me out, his hands wrapped around my fingers as we traveled through the darkened parking garage and in to the lobby of the building.

He let go of my hand then, nodding at the front desk as he carefully put distance between the two of us and I followed him blindly to the elevator. He slid the key in to the slot beside his number and the doors slid closed and suddenly, we were alone again.

"Carlis…"

"I said stop." He said again, but this time, he looked at me as he leaned against the railing of the elevator.

"Why?" I argued. "It's your name isn't it?"

He looked up then, the growing numbers on the screen above us reflected in the blue of his eyes before he pushed forward until he was only inches away. His hands found my hips then, carefully, and I whimpered at the contact. Craving more. Needing more.

"Rose…" his voice was soft as one of his hands came up, pushing a strand of hair away from my face before his palm cupped my cheek. "We can't…"

"Then why…"

His lips found mine and I melted in to his kiss, pressing against him as we collided with the elevator wall. His erection was pushing against my belly, yearning for me, and I groaned as I clenched my thighs together against the pulsing in my core.

"We shouldn't." He said as he pulled away between kisses and his lips found my neck.

"I want it." I said without hesitation and the elevator doors dinged as the doors slid open.

I wanted to cry as he pulled away but his hand found mine, pulling me along with him as we entered in to the apartment before us.

Immediately I could see what drew my mother to Carlisle. The house was everything she would have wanted for us. Everything she had craved and worked toward. Everything she thought I had ruined for her. It was immaculate, and beautiful, and she wanted it.

The thought of my mother there, in that apartment, made my stomach turn and I found myself pulling away from Carlisle as I clenched my fists together in front of me. The want I felt only moments before dissipated as I thought of him touching her, of her feeling the yearning that I felt when he looked at me.

His lips found my ear then as he pulled me against his chest. "I needed to see you. I'd rather only _see_ you than never see you at all."

I turned in his arms, preparing to tell him where to go, when his gaze caught mine and all resolve I had was gone as I fell in to his arms.

His lips were on mine again and he pulled me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me forward and in to the room at the back of the apartment. He laid me softly on the bed before he turned away. I bit my lip as I watched him dim the lights and then turn to push a nearly hidden button as the shades slid and the light of the city below us filled the room. And then he was back, his shirt gone as his hands worked up under my t-shirt and found the soft flesh underneath. I bucked under him, pressing myself against his straining cock and suddenly I wanted more. I needed more.

My hands frantically searched for the button of his pants and he smirked as he reached down and grabbed my wrists, stilling their motions, before he raised my arms up and pinned them against the bed with one of his hands. Ever so slowly he undressed me as he kissed every bit of exposed skin and I bucked underneath his hips.

Before long I was naked below him and his hand let me go, reaching down to undo his own pants before I reached down to push them away, his dick springing forward. His eyes found mine as I rubbed against him, begging him, before finally he nodded.

"I can't go back." He said quietly, the tip of his penis poised at the entrance to my slippery wet entrance.

"I don't want you to." I said before I gasped as he pressed inside of me.

His mouth found my mounds, taking the nipples in to his mouth slowly as we moved together, his guttural moans encouraging me as I moved beneath him, my own pleasure stirring as he pumped in and out.

"I'm coming." I whimpered as I felt my walls start to close around him and he nodded, leaning his head down as his teeth bit in to my shoulder, quelling the sound of his own orgasm as he found his release.

 **A/N: *Taps Mic* Anyone still there? I know. I know. I hope I didn't emotionally scar you too much. Please let me know what you think. Constructive Criticism appreciated. Also, for the record, I am doing this sans beta as I'm not sure how my regular betas would react -i.e. throw me off a roof. Just know that I do have another account on in which I post other, less traumatizing stories.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**  
 **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk.**

Thursdays were our days.

The days I knew he would show up after school and I would slide in to his car without hesitation. His hand would find its spot on my thigh and we would drive to wherever we were going. Soon, I found myself wearing dresses and skirts on Thursday and I loved the way his fingers would inch up beneath the fabric as he dipped inside of me and teased me.

I ignored the facts as I let myself fall further and further in to him. I barely saw my mother and I knew that she was still seeing him, and though we didn't talk about it, I knew he wasn't going to stop seeing her either.

I should have been revolted, or anything besides what I was, but I let it continue because any time I would sidle up to the issue he would wave off my concerns. Until the day I showed up at home to her car parked in the driveway.

"We're going on a trip." My mother said when I walked in to her room, tossing my bag down in the chair there.

"Where are we going?"

"Oh, not you." She said quickly, smiling at me a little. "Carlisle is taking me to Vegas."

And I knew it shouldn't have hurt that bad, because I didn't even know what the fuck I was doing with him, but the words felt like a slap to the face. Like he had purposefully stuck a knife in my back and twisted.

"Oh." Was all I said before I got up and left the room, not even bothering to hide my anger.

"Rosalie." My mom yelled through the wood, knocking on the door. "Why the attitude?"

"It's nothing mom." I lied but I could tell the venom in my voice didn't fool her.

"You're old enough now, you'll be fine. I'm leaving some money for you and Mrs. Cope said she'd keep an eye out. We'll be back on Friday."

My heart stuttered then as I realized just what it meant. He was choosing _her_ over me. Because Thursdays were ours.

I felt the hot prick of tears and I rolled over, throwing my pillow over my face as I muffled my screams.

* * *

The phone chirping woke me up and I glared as I looked at the clock, noting it wasn't even one o'clock yet.

Sitting up I read through the messages. The first was from my mother, telling me she was taking a night shift at work so she didn't fall behind on hours during her trip and would be staying with Carlisle after. The second was from Emmett, asking if I was okay, and I felt a little guilty when I realized I had been neglecting his friendship ever since my first tryst with Carlisle.

The third however was from a number I didn't recognize. A simple message with an address and the number 410.

I sat looking at the message, debating, because in my heart I knew who it was and while my brain was telling me to ignore it, my heart was pleading with me to follow through.

Cursing I gave up, throwing on some flip flops and pulling my hair into a messy bun as I left the house, locking the door behind me, and punched in the address in to my GPS.

It led me in to the city, far away from my house and on the opposite side from where my mother was probably sleeping in Carlisle's bed.

As I drove my brain started to win out as my heart became a fleeting, nagging little gnat that couldn't be heard. I was angry. No, I was pissed. And the closer I got my destination, the more sure I was that this wasn't going to end happily.

The hotel was swanky and only a few blocks away from the hospital Carlisle worked at. The front desk cast me nervous glances as I entered and it was only then that I realized I was still dressed in sweats and a ratty t-shirt.

I got on to the elevator, flipping them the bird as the doors slid shut behind me and by the time I marched up to room 410, my anger had reached a boiling point.

I knocked on the door; once, twice, three times, before Carlisle pulled it open and I flung myself at him, hitting any place I could reach with my hands as I flung every swear word I knew at him.

His hands caught me yet didn't stop me and he let me hit him until my arms were tired and my fury had ebbed. It was only then that I realized the tears were streaming down my face and I stepped back, turning to wipe my nose with my sleeve before his arms were around me and he pulled me in to him.

We didn't talk as he held me and I let him.

And then his lips were on my ear and every bit of ire I had was forgotten as I leaned in to him and his mouth worked its way down my neck and pushed my shirt out of the way , attacking my collar bone.

I pushed him away and reached down before he could argue, pulling my shirt over my head and dropping it to the floor. His hands reached out for me but I batted him away and then reached over to grab the front of his shirt, pulling until the buttons snapped and the sound of them hitting the floor was like music to my ears.

He got my gist then and pushed me, hard, as my back hit the wall behind me and his hands roughly grabbed the elastic band on my sweats and yanked them down as he dropped to his knees, my panties following quickly as his mouth found my slit and my head fell back against the wall with a resounding thud.

He worked his mouth, bringing me to the edge but just before I was about to fall over it he pulled back, wiping his mouth as he stood up and pushed down his own pants. He forcefully pressed himself inside me and I cried out as the feeling of him filling me up almost took me over the edge again before he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him as he settled me on his cock.

He bounced me against him and we worked together until I felt my walls tightening and I cried out just as I let go. His hands tightened around me and he pushed me against the wall as he soon followed, breathless, sweaty, and bruised.

"Rose." He said, his voice low, his forehead pressed against my bare shoulder. "I don't want this."

"Then why are you doing it?" I asked as I caught my breath and released my legs from around him as he sat me back on the ground. "Just end it. Let go of her."

"And then what?" He demanded as he moved to sit on the bed. "I've been thinking about this for months. What would happen after?"

"We could…"

"We can't." He said, his blue eyes meeting mine then, hard and angry yet sad at the same time. "We would have to wait, a year at least."

"No." I said firmly, moving to sit beside him. But as I look at him in the dim light of the room, I know that he's right. My mother would have his head on a platter faster than you could say statutory and then where would we be? If he were to end it then he wouldn't have any reason to contact me. To see me. To touch me. I shiver at the thought.

"I don't want _her_." He said, reaching out to cup my chin. "I want you. But if it means I have to be with her to be with you, that's a price I'm willing to pay. But if you're not…"

"No." I said again, shaking my head. "I am. I want you."

He grabs my head then, pulling me in and I'm lost to his kisses once again as we spend the rest of the night exploring each other until I wake up, alone, to the sun peeking through the window.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**  
 **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk.**

"Rosalie?" Emmett shook me from my thoughts, his hand waving in front of my face, eyebrow raised. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" I say hesitantly. Because I'm not okay. Not by a long shot. But Emmett doesn't know that.

Emmett knows everything about me. In the past few months he's become my best friend, my confidant. I should tell him, but every time I try to open my mouth, it's like the words refuse to come out. I would say it's because I'm embarrassed or I'm scared for Carlisle, but I know that's not it. No, the reason I don't tell him is because I don't want to hurt him. So I don't tell him.

"Right." He said sarcastically as he opened his bag of chips. "Anyway, Bella said your mom is out of town for the week?"

"Yeah." I say, smiling a little as I relaxed slightly with the change of subject.

"Any plans?"

"No." I said firmly before I unceremoniously shoved a cheese fry in my mouth.

"Aw, come on. Live a little." Emmett joked and I smiled despite myself at his goofy grin.

My phone chimed in my purse and I pulled it out as Emmett polished off his burger. I smiled again as I saw the number on the screen, and the small message telling me he missed me.

"Okay." Emmett's voice made me jump and I look up guiltily to see him pushed back in his chair a little. "You don't have to tell me. I get it, but don't lie to me Rose."

Slowly he stood up and threw some cash down on the table before he turned on his heel. I bit my lip, my heart hurting as I watched him leave before I finally jumped up, tossing my own money down before I took off after him.

"Emmett!" I called, racing to catch up to him and touching his arm. "Emmett please, stop!"

"Why? So you can lie to me again?" He turned, his face red. "Look, I know you don't like me like that okay. I know that you think of me as a friend and if that's all you want then I'm willing to be that. But don't sit there and dump all this shit on me and then pretend nothing is wrong when I ask. Real friends don't do that."

He pulled his arm away from me roughly and spun just as I opened my mouth. "I'm sleeping with Carlisle."

He froze, his shoulders stiff as he slowly turned to face me. "You're mom's boyfriend?"

"It's not like that." I argued as my face heated up because it really was _exactly_ like that. "He doesn't want to be with her. He wants me."

"You're a minor for fuck's sake Rosalie." He ground out. "And he's with your mother."

"But don't you see, that's why he's staying with her…" I cut off as he started laughing, shaking his head before he looked at me with a sad little smile. "What?"

"He's using you. And you're too stupid to see it."

The anger hit me then. Not because he was wrong, but because of all things he could say to me, he knew that one would hurt the most. I heard the sound of my palm against his face before I felt it and I had already turned on my heel as I threw a "fuck you" over my shoulder, not looking back once as I got in my car and headed back to my empty house.

I spent the next few days in solitude. Texting my mother to tell her I was sick and not going to school and allowing Mrs. Cope to bring me soup even though she ended up staying for two hours talking about her cats. When I finally returned to school I kept my distance from Bella and ignored anyone else who tried to talk to me. Emmett never called and Carlisle's message was the last one he sent.

By Friday I wasn't sure I even wanted to return home. I sat outside the school in my car for two hours before I finally convinced myself to just go.

My mother was in the living room, her head on Carlisle's lap and I ignored their greetings as I climbed the stairs and slammed my door shut behind me as I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

"Rose." His voice was soft and sweet and too quiet.

I roused as I came too, Carlisle hovering over me, a worried look on his face. "What?" I finally croaked out.

His lips met mine, sweet and simple and simply not enough before he pulled back and gave me a little half smile. "I've wanted to do that all night."

His voice was whisper soft and I knew it was because my mother was in the next room, sleeping peacefully as she thought the man she called hers was still next to her.

"You should go." I forced myself to say, rolling over and away from him.

I heard him sigh and then he was lying behind me, pulling me against him. "Please don't pull away from me Rose."

"Just go." I ground out, twisting myself out of his arms and ignoring the hurt look on his face.

I waited for him to get up and go but instead his arms tightened around me again, his lips trailing down from my temple to my lips and I leaned in to him as I ignored the aching in my gut.

"I can't do that." He finally whispered against my lips. "This week was hell when all I wanted was touch you. To smell you. To taste you."

He punctuated each point with a kiss on a new location.

"I need you Rose."

I melted against him at that, and once again my resolve waivered and I found myself under his spell. "I need _you_."

"I want you." He said again and his fingers slipped under the waist band of my pants. "I want to taste you."

My pants were gone in seconds and I wasn't sure if he had taken them off or if I had but I didn't really care as his face settled between my thighs and his tongue worked inside of me. I grabbed my pillow, biting down to keep my moans inside as he continued to lick and suckle at the flesh between my legs, my throbbing center relishing in the attention.

I came too quickly and I rode out the orgasm with my face buried in my pillow. Carlisle crawled up my body, kissing me. I had only just tasted myself on his lips and then his cock was inside of me.

I bit down on his shoulder as he pumped in and out of me, his lips pressed together as he fought to keep his guttural groans to a minimum and I reached up, pulling him to me and thrusting my tongue inside his mouth as he came over the edge, his body shaking against mine.

He laid on top of me, still inside of me, as he finished and his lips trailed along my sweaty forehead before he finally pulled away. He kissed me one last time on the lips before he pushed his dick back inside his boxers and stood up, throwing me one last glance before he left.

I rolled over but didn't fall asleep as Emmett's words played in my head.

 **A/N: Happy Monday. I need a drink.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**  
 **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk.**

"You can't." I said; my throat tight and my voice a little panicky as I fought to control my words.

"Rosalie, it's none of your concern what I do." My mother bit out. Her mascara was running and she looked miserable but all I could think about was that I was going to lose him.

"Why though? I thought you were happy."

"Not that it's any of your concern." She seethed. "But I think he's cheating on me."

"He wouldn't do that." I said quickly, picking at my scrambled eggs. "I mean, it's been six months so I've seen quite a lot of the guy and he just doesn't seem the type."

"He's gone late at night, he sometimes doesn't come home at all and I called the hospital last night when he said he was going to be working and he wasn't there Rosalie." She argued.

I swallowed thickly because last night we had been together in room 410 and the week before that he didn't go home because he spent the night in my room with his cock buried inside of me.

"Mom. Just talk to him. I haven't seen you this happy in a while. Don't throw it away on assumptions."

I bit my cheek as I stood up, emptying my nearly full plate in to the trash and depositing in to the sink before I took off.

He called minutes after I had left and I answered it quickly. "She wants to break up with you."

I was panicking, my voice strained and I knew he could hear it because he exhaled deeply before he started talking again. "Rose. It's okay. Come by the hospital, we'll talk about it."

I hadn't really known where I was going anyway, just trying to get out of the house and away from my mother, so I turned and headed towards the hospital.

He was waiting for me outside and we walked, side by side without touching, up to his small, cramped office.

The door was barely shut before he had me against him, his tongue probing my lips and I accepted before I finally made myself pull away, resisting the urge to beg him to take me on the desk behind us.

"If she breaks up with you…" I started and noticed my hands were shaking. "There's no way we can see each other."

"She won't." He said gently as he reached out and unbuttoned the top button on my dress.

"How can you be sure?" I asked breathlessly as his head dipped down to nip and suck on my now exposed collarbone.

"Because we're going to take a little break from each other." He laughed against my skin. "Relax, we'll still see each other but I need to keep you safe. I'll do whatever it takes."

I nodded and let him explore me with his mouth as he continued to unbutton my dress one button at a time, agonizingly slow.

He pushed me against his desk, his own mind much the same as mine as he pulled the bottom of my dress up and slipped his pants down before he entered me. I squeaked as his mouth found my breast and he bit lightly at the skin there as I ground my hips against his. We came together and I lay back across the desk as he pulled his pants up, staring down at me appreciatively.

"I'm taking her to dinner tonight and I took the next few days off of work. I have a _friend_ who is going to help me out. Stop by the restaurant and thank me for helping out at his hospital. I'm going to ask your mom to stay with me for my days off." He stopped at the look on my face and moved to hover over me. "I know, I don't like it much either but we've talked about this. I'm going to make her believe me Rose, to keep us together. And then I'm going to pick you up on Thursday like usual and make you forget your own name."

I laughed at the thought as he captured my lips once again and the panic resided slightly because I did believe him. Despite everything I believed him. Even if a part of me didn't want to.

* * *

It was raining on Thursday. I hadn't seen my mom in days and I tried to keep the bitterness at bay as I told myself what Carlisle had kept telling me. What his texts had reminded me. What I had convinced myself I had to do.

By Thursday afternoon I felt like a zombie with the sleep I had gotten, or lack thereof. I had walked to school, not wanting to have to stop by afterwards to pick up my car so I stood under the alcove of the building as I waited for the familiar blue car.

And I kept waiting.

Two hours had passed and there was no sign of him. I called his phone only for it to be sent to voicemail and the texts I sent were shown as delivered but not read. The rain intensified and I was shivering by the time a car did pull in to the parking lot in the dying light of the afternoon.

Only, it wasn't the car I expected to see.

I hadn't seen Emmett in months. Since I had slapped him outside of the diner and he had told me how stupid I was for fucking Carlisle. At the moment, I didn't want to admit how right he might have been. He pulled to a stop in front of me and I heard his doors unlock before he leaned over and opened up his passenger door, not saying a word.

I hesitated, looking out over the parking lot two more times before I finally slid in to the car as I tried to control my shivering.

"Jesus Rosalie." He said and he reached over, turning up the heating.

I looked at him then, really looked, and for the first time I realized just how much I had missed him. His gym time was apparently paying off as his arms had started to bulk up, the fabric of his t-shirt tight around his biceps, and he had apparently ditched the glasses I knew he needed. His buzz cut had grown out, replaced by soft chocolate brown ringlets that matched the color of the scruff on his cheeks.

My teeth chattered and I leaned back against the seat, hugging my book bag towards me as my dress clung to my thighs. He sighed before he reached back, grabbing a sweatshirt out of the backseat and tossing it to me.

I thanked him as I used it to cover up my soaking wet upper body as he slowly pulled away from the still empty parking lot.

"Bella called me. She said Edward had had a late practice so she swung by to pick him up and you were standing out in the rain. She would have asked you if you wanted a ride but…"

He didn't have to finish his sentence. She didn't ask because I had been ignoring her as best as I could and pushing her away from me when she _did_ try to talk. The school year was dwindling down and I hadn't spoken to her since the fight I had with Emmett. "I told you I don't play well with others."

He snorted at that and I glared at him as I clenched my still chattering teeth. "Seems to me like you're _choosing_ not to play well with others."

"Fuck off." I muttered and he slowed the car down, pulling to the side of the road before he turned to look at me.

"Answer me this one thing Rosalie and then I'll leave it alone. Does he love you?"

I looked at him, my eyes wide, as he stared me down with raised eyebrows. I wanted to say that yes, he loved me more than any other _boy_ possibly could. I wanted to say that the only thing he wanted was for us to be together and living happily ever after. But could I say that? Had Carlisle ever said those three words to me.

"I don't know." I finally said, swallowing thickly as I turned back to the road.

"Well, you know what?" Emmett asked softly, the edge to his voice gone. "I do Rosalie. I've loved you since I saw you kicking your damn tire in a temper tantrum. I loved you when you're shoving greasy fries in your mouth and stealing the bacon off my sandwiches. I've loved you from near and far and I know it wasn't enough but I've tried Rosalie and I can't stay away from you. I know you have whatever the fuck it is with Carlisle right now but he's not good for you. I know you think I was mad because of him, because of you being with him, but I'm not. I wasn't. I was pissed. I _am_ pissed because he's going to hurt you and I love you too much to see you hurt. I know you don't want to hear it but he's using you. And at first I told myself I was going to just walk away, let you learn your own damn lesson but I can't stay away from you. I don't want to. So I'll be your friend. I'll wait here, in the sidelines. And I'll be there for you when he breaks you. Because I can feel it Rosalie, he's going to hurt you and there won't be anything I can do to stop it. As much as I want to."

I swallowed again as he turned, sighing, and put the car back in drive while I sat stunned silent by his speech. Because I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't wait. That it was a waste of time. But a selfish part of me wanted to cling to him, to take whatever he offered for as long as I could. That small part of me needed him more than I needed air and I knew I was going to act on that small part before we'd even made it back to my house.

He didn't put the car in to park when we got back to my darkened house but he didn't immediately put it in reverse either. I sat, staring at the front porch before I finally pulled his sweatshirt away from me and held it out to him.

He shook his head "Keep it. It's still raining."

"I'm sorry." I said finally, looking down at the hand he kept resting on his gear shift. "I wish…"

"I know." He said and then he reached out and grabbed my hand. He laced his fingers through mine and pulled it up, kissing the back of it gently before he let it go.

I nodded then and left the car, running up the walk with his sweatshirt over my head before I bolted inside and slammed the door shut behind me, leaning up against it as I saw his headlights pull away. And as I sat there, alone in my empty house, I cried for all the ways my life had gone wrong.

 **A/N: Soooo I have a ton of follows on this yet only 2 faithful reviewers (I love you both!) Please, let me know what you're thinking. I love hearing your thoughts on this dirty, messy fic!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**  
 **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk**

I fell asleep in Emmett's sweatshirt and I didn't wake up until noon the next day. My mother never came home and I busied myself catching up on homework and the chores that were neglected so often around the house.

I still had Emmett's sweatshirt on when he texted me and I smiled as I saw the stupid cat picture. Something I had missed about his friendship over the past few months.

I laughed as I found an equally obnoxious yet adorable cat picture and sent it back as we carried on a tradition we had started as though no time had passed between us at all. I missed him.

" **I'm bored** ", I finally texted him after an hour of horribly bad internet cat memes.

 ** _Me too_** , he replied quickly. **_And I'm out of cat pictures_**

 **"What a shame."**

 ** _"Ha. Ha. I could send you equally disturbing dog memes but we'd probably end up in the same boat._** " He answered and I found myself actually laughing out loud.

 **"Probably…. Want to go do something?"**

I waited with bated breath as it showed that the message was delivered and then read but no response came through. I sighed and tossed my phone down on my bed and threw myself back, wondering if I had crossed a line that I shouldn't have when my phone alerted me to a new message and I picked it up shakily as I saw his response.

 ** _"Thought you'd never ask. Pick you up in ten."_**

True to his word he showed up ten minutes later as I was trying to find my shoes. He had barely made it to the front door when my mother's car pulled up behind him.

My hands shook as I slipped my shoes on and I grabbed my things, bounding out of the door Emmett had just knocked on and linking my fingers with his as I pulled him back towards his own car.

Carlisle's eyes locked on mine and I looked away as I jogged around the car, sliding in the front seat as my mom tossed a halfhearted good-bye my way.

Emmett was quiet as he drove tensely and I knew what he was thinking before he even opened his mouth. "We don't have to do this…"

"I want to." I smiled, and I hoped it reached my eyes as I tried to forget the look Carlisle wore as I dashed off with another man. "Where are we going?"

"Jump zone." He said, a ridiculous smirk spreading across his face as I rolled my eyes.

The next five hours were spent bouncing around an industrial warehouse filled with trampolines followed by two games of laser tag that Emmett insisted he won and one round of mini golf. By the time we made it out I was exhausted and exuberant.

"I haven't had that much fun in forever." I laughed as Emmett nudged me with his shoulder. "I love winning at laser tag."

"You didn't win." Emmett grumbled but he was still smiling as he opened his car doors and slid in to the car. "I let you have some hits."

"Sure." I nodded and I pulled our phones out of the glove box where we had left them and passed him his just as mine lit up, notifying me of seventeen messages.

I slowly read through them, noting Carlisle had called me six times and texted ten, wanting to make sure that I was okay. My mother had texted once letting me know she had to go out of town for business again and was leaving early in the morning but might be home by Sunday if not Monday.

"Emmett…" I said, looking up to meet his worried gaze just as we pulled on to my street. "Can I…"

"What?" He asked when I stopped, slowing down to a crawl. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing I just… never mind."

"Rosalie…" He said, stopping the car in the middle of the road, three houses down from mine. "what is it?"

"I don't want to go home. Not yet."

He bit his lip, looking down the street towards my house before he nodded and put it in reverse, backing up and heading back the way we came. I looked in the rear view mirror as we turned back on the main road and I saw my mother's car growing smaller in the distance as I reached down and turned off my phone.

* * *

Emmett and I ended up at his friend Jasper's house.

I had met Jasper once, in passing. He was a pretty chill dude. His girlfriend on the other hand was a different matter entirely. Where Jasper was content to relax on his couch, Alice was always moving, always bouncing. She was also always talking.

Two hours after we had gotten there I knew almost all of Alice's life story. That her mother had died of cancer and her dad had suffered a mental break down so her aunt had stepped in and taken over caring for her. She loved anything to do with shopping and was studying to become an engineer. That last one surprised me but also didn't. The girl was full of surprises.

I curled up against Emmett as we watched a B grade horror movie and eventually my eyes started to get heavy. I still didn't want to go home but I knew I would have to eventually.

Soon I found it hard to keep my eyes open and we left, but not before Alice had exchanged numbers with promises of hanging out together soon. Emmett chuckled at my face and we got in his car to head back.

"She's a force of nature." He said, laughing.

"She's something else. I'm scared to meet her family."

"Nah. Her aunt is a social worker,such a chill lady. Her and Jasper remind me of each other except Jasper has a lot less _moral fiber_. " He noticed the look on my face as he clarified. "She doesn't smoke as much weed. At least, not that we know of."

I laughed and leaned back in the seat as I saw my familiar intersection and then Emmett pass right through it. "Hey. You missed my turn."

"I know." He said with a smile. "I want to show you something."

"Should I be worried?" I asked slowly and he shook his head.

We drove for a few minutes before we pulled in front of a brick building with a wrought iron fence. The paint on the building suggested it used to be an industrial mill and I looked questioningly at Emmett as he pulled in to a reserved parking spot.

He came around to help me out of the car before he turned to look up at the building. "What do you think?"

"Are you going to kill me?" I mock whispered and he threw his head back and laughed as I did the same. It was then I realized just how much I had been laughing tonight, _actually_ laughing, and how I loved to hear him laugh as well.

He led me to the front of the building and used a key on his key ring to open the front door before he led me in. We walked up five flights of stairs before he finally stopped in front of a door and let me in.

I gasped as we entered, Emmett shutting the door behind us. The entire interior had been converted to a small apartment but the most majestic part was the full wall of windows on the opposite side of the room that overlooked downtown. My breath caught in my throat as I remembered a similar set of windows in a very different apartment.

"Is this yours?" I finally asked, turning to face Emmett as he leaned against the exposed brick wall.

He nodded. "My dad was an ass but he was right. I didn't know what I wanted to do because I had always wanted to be one thing, I just didn't think I was good enough. I enrolled in college, for architecture, I was going to tell you the last time we um… well, you know. I also got a job in a firm downtown. It's not much but I'm learning. I saved up and put the down payment on this place with my dad's help."

"It's beautiful." I said honestly as I moved further in to the building.

"It pays to have a cop as a dad apparently. He knows everyone and a lot of people owe him favors." He paused. "Not as scary as it sounds."

He gave me the grand tour after that, which didn't take long considering it was a studio apartment, before we ended up on his couch with a bowl of popcorn between us.

I could feel my lids growing heavier as the minutes passed and I knew I should get up and go but I didn't. And as sleep overtook me the last thing I felt were Emmett's lips on my forehead as he whispered goodnight.

 **A/N: So... no secks this chapter. Sorry! Did I mention this story is already written? We're over halfway through. Thanks so much to my reviewers! I love, love, love you! Keep em coming! Tell me what you think is going to happen! What you want to happen! How skeeved out you are with my pairing! Anything!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**  
 **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk**

"You should sleep over more often." Emmett whistled as I came out of the bathroom in one of his shirts. The thing was a dress on me and the sweat pants I had borrowed had to be rolled up at the top and the bottom but at least they were comfortable.

"Shut up." I muttered as I poured myself a bowl of his cereal and sat down on the bar stool beside him.

We ate in silence, catching each other's eye every once in a while before one of us would end up laughing and turn back to our food. I was sad when Emmett told me he had agreed to work that day but I held it down and let him drive me home.

We pulled up to my house and Emmett parked behind my mom's car. "Thank you." I said genuinely.

"I meant what I said Rose." He said softly, and I stopped at his use of my shortened name. It was the only name Carlisle called me. The only name that I wanted him to call me and when he used it, it made me burn with a need that even I couldn't explain. But when Emmett said it, it made me smile and it made my insides tickle a little. Two very different, very confusing reactions.

"I know." I said as I leaned over, pulling his face to mine and I heard his sharp intake of breath as my lips caught his gently.

The kiss was slow and short and perfect and I pulled away and smiled at the blush that had crept up his neck and in to his cheeks.

"I'll call you." I said as I got out of the car and headed inside, looking back over my shoulder before I shut the door and bolted to my room.

I was still smiling as I shook out my ponytail and crossed the hall before I jumped in the shower. I had a bounce in my step that hadn't been there before as I started to sing softly under the spray of water. I was so involved in my shower that I didn't hear him come in until he was behind me, his cock pressed against my butt and his lips on my shoulders as he swayed from side to side.

"Carlisle." I said, pulling away from him gently. "I didn't know.."

"I thought I would surprise you." He said, pulling me to him. "Of course I didn't know you'd be making out with another man in front of me either."

His words were light but his eyes were hard as he stared down at me and I shook my head, trying to clear the fog that suddenly seemed to settle there. "It's not like that…"

"I know." He said, pulling me in to him. "I'm only joking."

His hands traveled down my body, reconnecting with every inch of exposed skin and I felt myself leaning in to him before I finally pulled away.

"Thursday." I said firmly and I saw a sadness in his eyes.

"Rose…"

"Where were you Thursday? I waited…"

He shook his head and pulled his hands away and I took my moment as I disengaged myself and jumped out of the shower, haphazardly wrapping a towel around myself as I stalked back to my room and sat on my bed.

He was there then, naked and unembarrassed, as he kneeled in front of me and used his thumb to lift my chin until my eyes met his.

"I was at a bar." He said and I could see the sadness in his eyes. "It's no excuse and I know that. You have every right to be angry but I hope that you will listen to me."

I wanted to shake him off, to tell him to go to hell, but I found myself nodding instead and he pulled me down so that I was straddling him, his bulge pressing against me.

"I've been at the hospital for a year now, doing my rounds. This little girl started coming in around the same time, she wasn't but a year old or so. Her name was Bree. She was so gorgeous and full of life. Curly hair and dimples. She was often sick but what worried me were the bruises she had. I called in the hospital social worker and she and I worked together to help Bree's mother. She was living with her boyfriend and it was a toxic relationship. We helped her get out and get away from him. To get the help she needed to keep her and Bree off the streets. Until she started coming in again a few weeks ago. I knew Stephanie, Bree's mom had gone back to him but I never knew… I tried Rose. I tried so hard. I fought like hell for that little girl but it wasn't enough. It's never enough."

His tears rolled down his cheeks then and I pulled him in to me as he cried against my chest and slowly we rocked together.

We sat like that until Carlisle's tears ran dry and his sobs tapered off, slowly turning in to soft, peppering kisses down my chest. I rubbed myself against him, moaning as he hardened underneath me until my stomach growled loudly and he laughed, pushing me gently away from him.

"Let's get something to eat." I reluctantly nodded and pulled away as he laughed quietly.

I turned to grab clothes out of my dresser and I heard him leave my room. I turned just in time to see him walking stark naked towards my mother's room.

I couldn't help myself as I darted after him, abandoning my towel as I collided with him in my mother's room. And then I suddenly didn't care anymore as I pushed him backwards onto my mother's bed and watched with amusement as he fell with a bounce. It's a line we'd never crossed before but one I was desperate to dive over right then. He kept clothes in here, for his time with her, and I wanted to invade that bubble.

I was on top of him before he could react and his cock was ready for me as my tits bounced up and down with the motion. And then he was in me and I was moving against him on the edge of the bed while he growled and grabbed my ass, pulling me even closer. But it wasn't enough. I pulled off slowly, moving to slip further up the bed and opened my legs up to him, slipping a finger between my wet folds and bringing it up to taste my own juices.

He yanked my hand away before I could clean it off, his own mouth encasing my finger and sucking as I moaned in delight. His cock found my entrance and pushed in to me and I didn't hold back my scream as he started to move and my hips moved along with him, finding our rhythm. All too soon my walls started to tighten and I dug my fingers in to his ass, pulling his dick in to me further as I rode out the waves of my orgasm. He waited, pumping in and out until my shuddering stops and then he was fucking me, hard and fast and on top of my mother's bed, before he spilled his seed in to me and we collapsed together on top of the sheets.

We ate dinner naked, lying on the floor, and by the time we went to sleep, wrapped up in each other's arms, I couldn't even remember what Emmett's lips felt like against mine.

 **A/N: Since I was so late in updating, you got this a day earlier. And I know, I know. _Rose._ But remember she's still a young and naive kid. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't one once and we all learn from our mistakes, eventually. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
** **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk**

"I can't believe you've never seen this." Emmett said as I settled next to him on the couch, putting the popcorn down in between us.

I laughed and shoved a handful of sour gummy bears in my mouth as the movie started. It had become somewhat of a ritual to us. Thursdays were my days with Carlisle but Fridays were my days with Emmett.

I knew that it still wasn't enough for Emmett. The small touches and little pecks here and there that turned my insides to mush and made him smile like a Cheshire cat. They were never enough but it wasn't not the same. It was never the same.

Carlisle didn't mention my nights with Em but when _I_ would mention them he would get a hard look in his eye and change the subject. More often than not I would spend some of the night replying to his texts. Tonight was not one of those nights.

"You okay?" Emmett asked and it was only then that I realized I hadn't really been paying attention as I stared at my phone on the coffee table.

"Yeah." I said and I cringed as my voice waivered. "No."

He smiled as I corrected myself, knowing he would see right through the lie.

"Carlisle and my mom…." I swallowed. "It's their 'anniversary' and…"

Emmett sat forward then and shook his head. "I don't get why you do it. I mean, okay I can kind of see your backwards ass logic but he's fucking your mom and you at the same time. Isn't that…doesn't that disgust you? I mean, if you were fucking my dad… wait, you aren't fucking my dad are you?"

I narrowed my eyes and tossed the closest remote as his head as he caught it easily with a laugh.

"Seriously though Rosie…how does that not…" He gestured and wrinkled his face up.

"It's hard to explain," I start. "It's not like it is with me when he's with her. It's an obligation more of a want. I don't know.."

"But essentially it's like you're having sex with your mom." He said, eyebrow quirked.

"Ewww… no." I blanched but turned away from him as I tried to settle my stomach and the urge to throw up nearly overwhelmed me.

"Do you… you know, make sure he wraps it up." He asked, gesturing to his groin.

"Yes." I answered quickly. "Well, with her. I get the shot…"

"But what if he slips one time and forgets with her and then…"

"Can we **stop** please?" I said, a little too firmly.

He narrowed his eyes but nodded before he turned back to the movie in silence. Before long my leg started bouncing and I realized I hadn't really caught any of the movie just as Emmett reached out, his hand stilling my leg.

"I'm sorry. Let's do something else. Get your mind off of it."

I nodded gratefully and followed him in to his kitchen area as he pulled out a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses.

"I'm underage." I reminded him and he smirked.

"You gonna tell on me?" He asked, picking up his now full glass and tipping it in my direction before he shot it back.

"Nope." I answered and picked up my own shot, downing it easily.

We continued on until the edges of my vision were starting to blur and the thought of Carlisle with my mom suddenly wasn't as sickening as it was hilarious. We moved on after the bottle was empty and I wasn't even sure what we started drinking after that.

"Rose…" Emmett said after a while. His voice slurred. "I still love you."

"I love you too Emmett." I said honestly, leaning in to him on the counter. "But I _really_ love Carlisle."

"Is it because he's going to be a doctor or…or because he's got a huge cock?"

I laughed, too loudly and reached out to steady myself on Emmett's thigh. "I don't know."

"He's fucking your mom." He said and I nodded in acquiesce. "doesn't that piss you off."

"Yeah." I answered and I felt the anger I always kept hidden in the bottom of my gut start to stir. Anger at my mother for finding Carlisle first. Anger at Carlisle for not ending it with her and being with me instead. Anger at myself for not being older. I hiccupped and nearly fell off the counter before Emmett reached out to sturdy me but only just as we both slid off the counter and on to the floor, Emmett's now buff body catching my fall. "You're still working out."

"Yeah." Emmett whispered, his bittery sweet breath tickling my face. "Keeps me from thinking about you."

And then my lips were on his and I wasn't holding back. My knees found the floor and I rubbed myself against the bulge in his jeans as we both moaned in pleasure. His hands reached out and grazed up and under my shirt before he gently lifted it up and over my head.

I made quick work of my bra as his hand fumbled with the button on my own jeans and I pushed his hands away and undid it quickly before I slipped them down over my thighs as he pulled out his cock. I threw my hair over my shoulder as I stood up and then settled myself down over him, allowing him to fill me up before I started to move against him.

It was sex. The same kind of sex I'd been having for nearly six months with Carlisle. But it was different. There was no urgency here, no anger or force. There was just him and me and the sound of a clock ticking somewhere in the background. I moved my hips against him and his fingers were gently gripping my thighs, helping me as I moved against him. He moved to sit up a little then as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer, his lips finding mine as we moved together.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered breathlessly between kisses. "So damn beautiful."

His words pushed me closer to the edge and I let him push the hair over my shoulder as he suckled on my collar bone and his thumb teased my nipple.

"I love you Rose." His voice whispered and I clamped down around him as my orgasm carried me away.

It was everything sex should have been; perfect and slow and so agonizingly good. Only, it wasn't Emmett's voice I heard as I came undone.

 **A/N: Thank you, anon for the...ahem, lovely review. I'm so sorry this pairing is unnatural but things don't always happen right the first time around for people. Their first loves aren't always their soul mates. Their only loves aren't always right for them. It's life. I, personally, think that is what makes love and life, so amazing. We can be in so much pain from love and heartbreak and still find it in ourselves to love more. Also, I am beta-less so I'm sorry the writing is just 'ok' feel free to shoot me some tips for making it better!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
** **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk**

"Rosalie." My mother's voice shook me awake and I groaned as I rolled over away from her, my head pounding.

I had bailed on Emmett. When I had woke up with my head cradled in his arm, still naked on his kitchen floor I had just gotten up and left. The headache I was dealing with was nothing compared to the ache in my gut at what I had done.

"Rosalie." My mother said again. "I can smell alcohol on you so if you don't want me to turn you in for underage drinking you'd better wake up."

She was bluffing, I knew enough of her to know that much but I still rolled over and glared at her. "What?"

"I think Carlisle's going to ask me to marry him." She said excitedly.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

She nodded hurriedly. "I have to go to work but I wanted you to know I'm staying at his house for the rest of the weekend. Maybe I'll come back with a ring."

I watched as she bounced off then and I threw myself back on my bed, ignoring the pain it caused in my temporal lobe as my emotions swirled.

It was never supposed to come to this. He didn't love her. He loved _me_.

But did he?

In one day we would have been fucking each other for six months and he had never once uttered those words to me. I thought of Emmett and his gentle caresses the night before. How his simple declaration of love had sent my stomach in to a tailspin but the words weren't his and I hadn't said it back.

I slid out of bed and got ready for the day, washing the remnants of my night down the shower drain before I dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and downed some pain relievers before I pulled on my running shoes.

Before we had moved here running had been my escape, my time to think and figure things out. I was hoping for the solitude it would bring again as I slipped my phone in to my arm band and set off.

Five miles and two water breaks later I was jogging down my street, sweaty and relaxed but no closer to an answer than I had been five miles ago.

And then I saw him, leaning against his car as he looked down the road opposite of where I was running from. I wanted to stop, to run the other way until I figured out just what the hell I was doing but I didn't, I kept going and I ran right to him.

I would always run right to him.

* * *

"You okay?" He asked as I let him in the house and I nodded, holding up a finger as I disappeared in to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and downed it quickly. "Good run?"

"Yeah." I said breathlessly.

"I didn't know you ran." He said and he leaned up against the counter as his blue eyes drank me in.

"I haven't in a while." I said quickly and turned to toss my now empty water bottle in the trash before his arm caught mine.

His lips were on mine, quick and fervent, and my stomach rolled as I thought about the last lips that had touched mine.

"Carlisle…" I said, pulling away as I pushed him a little. "I…I"m so sorry."

The tears started then and they wouldn't stop as I thought about the night before. His arms tightened around me, pulling me closer as I cried.

"I slept with Emmett." I blurted out and I felt him stiffen against me. "We got drunk and…"

He pulled completely away then and I staggered at the sudden loss of contact.

"I know it's no excuse and I am so…"

"Stop." He said then, turning to face me, his eyes full of fire. He grabbed my face, too roughly as his lips crashed in to mine.

I fell against him, not sure what was going on but not wanting to let it go as his hands pawed at my shorts and soon they were around my ankles. His cock was out then and he pushed me against the wall, holding me still as he pushed in to me roughly.

"Carlisle." I said as I pushed against him and he pushed back. "I'm so…"

His hand reached up and covered my mouth, stifling the last of my apology and I nodded as he continued to fuck me against the wall. I never came as he went over the edge and his head found my shoulder while he gasped for air.

"I love you." I whispered as I kissed his hair.

He didn't say it back as he readjusted himself and stood up. He didn't look over his shoulder as he walked out of the front door and let it slam behind him. As I watched him drive away, I couldn't help but think that whatever we had was gone and it wasn't going to come back.

 **A/N: Ummm...what? I'm awful. I'm not sorry.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
** **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk**

My mother came home with marks on her neck and a smile on her face that seemed to reach from ear to ear. She still didn't have a ring but apparently he had made up for it in other areas.

It was a message and I read it loud and clear.

I locked myself in my room and ignored Emmett's texts. I knew he wanted to talk about what happened. To gauge my reaction but I wasn't even sure what my reaction was and the one person I really wanted, wasn't talking to me.

Two weeks passed and my birthday was nearing. It should have been a happy time. I should have been over the moon at what the freedom of one single year would bring but instead I was in my room fighting a constant sickness that seemed to envelope me.

Carlisle stopped coming to the house and the one night my mother had dinner with me she blamed it on my attitude. I almost told her the truth right then but I managed to keep it in and I fell asleep that with hot angry tears rolling down my face.

The day before my birthday my mother told me she had been called to an out of town meeting and would have to make it up to me later. I rolled my eyes and listened to her leave as I curled up in the groove that had started to form in the middle of my bed.

At midnight my phone chimed and I willed myself out of bed to retrieve it from my desk as I read Emmett's message. He begged me to just talk to him, as a friend, and I almost gave in before the knock came on the door.

Carlisle stood there, disheveled and scruffy, with a small bouquet of wildflowers. It was the first thing he had ever given to me and I couldn't breathe.

"Happy Birthday Rose." He said softly and I nodded as I let him pass by me and in to the house.

I left him alone while I put the flowers in a vase and filled it with water, setting it on the kitchen table before I returned to him in the living room.

He hadn't moved from his spot in front of the door and his hands were in his pockets as he stared down at his feet.

"I'm…" I started but he stopped me.

"Please don't." He said. "It's your birthday."

I nodded and willed myself not to cry as he crossed the room and pulled me in to him.

He held me in the middle of the room for what felt like hours before he finally nodded upstairs. "Go get a bag and meet me back down here."

I quickly obeyed for fear that he would change his mind if I took too long. He was still there when I returned and silently he led me to his car. He didn't say a word as he drove through the town and we arrived back to his apartment.

He carried my bag and I followed close behind him as we passed the empty front desk and entered the elevator.

He stood far away from me this time. His eyes looking anywhere but at me as we climbed the floors until finally, the elevator dinged and he gestured for me to get off first. His apartment hadn't changed since I had been here but I noticed that it seemed a little less tidy. There were no words as he led me to his bedroom and set my bag down by the door.

I waited as he left the room and I settled myself down on the bed.

He came back with two flutes of champagne and a sad look in his eyes.

"Happy Birthday sweetheart." He said and he tipped his glass back, emptying it in one drink.

"Carlisle, please." I said but he shook his head.

"Later."

He brushed the hair over my shoulder then and worked down the buttons, one at a time before he slipped my shirt off over my shoulders. He turned me, gently, and undid the clasp on my bra his while his hands were setting fire to my skin. He pushed the straps down and the garment slid down to the floor with a soft thud. He pushed me back gently and pulled my shorts down over my legs, taking the time to rub his hands back up my thighs as he did the same with my panties.

I was completely naked underneath him before he slipped off his shirt and his pants and boxers soon followed.

"I thought you were mine." He said, his voice rough as he leaned over me.

"I am." I argued but he silenced me with a kiss as his tongue probed my mouth.

He slowly rocked his hips against me, the friction setting me on fire as I bucked against him. Wanting more. Harder. Faster. But he refused as he took his time and the anticipation and want threatened to kill me.

"Please." I begged finally as he released my lips. "Please."

His cock found me then, pushing in to me too slow, and I cried out both in pleasure and in frustration. I moved myself against him, yearning for that hard and fast fucking I had grown so used to from him. But it never came.

He rocked slowly, in and out, taking his time as he savored each and every thrust and I slowly but surely reached my peak. When I started to come he picked up speed and as my walls tightened around him he spilled his seed inside of me. We came down together, panting and breathless and he rolled away his eyes staring at the ceiling as I stared at him, willing him to come back to me and knowing in my heart, that it was too late.

We had sex again and again that night and each time it was the slow, almost painful, sex from before. It was the same type of intimacy that I had shared with Emmett but it was so far gone from what Carlisle and I had shared before that I could feel my heart breaking with each and every thrust and grunt. And each time I orgasmed, I wondered if it was the last.

Until finally, it was.

"Rose." He started and I sucked in a breath as he finally met my eyes.

His dick was still inside of me and his brow was sweaty as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine one last time.

And then he pulled away. His shoulders were tight as he leaned over on the edge of the bed and I moved to sit beside him, as his hand caught my thigh.

"I bought you a ring." He said and my breath caught in my throat. "I was going to give it to you, today. Tell you that I was willing to wait as long as it took for you. I just… I can't…"

I wanted to cry, but I wanted to scream. "Because of Emmett?"

He nodded and I bit down on the inside of my tongue until I tasted blood. "That's not fair."

He looked at me then and his expression was tired.

"You were _fucking_ my mom. You were hooking up with me and fucking my mom at the same time. I made one mistake…"

"Rose…" He said softly, reaching out to grab my hands but I batted him away.

"No. You made the choice to keep sleeping with my mom but I make a mistake one time, while under the influence and you say it's my fault? You're a fucking hypocrite. You're no better than the rest of them."

I stood up then, pulling the sheet with me and wrapping it around me as I grabbed my clothes from the floor and ran in to the bathroom.

I dressed through tears and left the bathroom to see Carlisle standing against the window, his arm leaning against it as he looked out the window below him.

I shook my head and grabbed my bag, not looking back as I ran out of the apartment and away from him. Because I knew if I looked back, I wouldn't be strong enough to leave.

I had to be strong enough.

* * *

Emmett picked me up on the side of the road and I didn't even ask how he managed to find me as he drove to his apartment and we walked inside.

I made it all the way inside before I finally broke down.

I cried against Emmett's chest and he held me against him until my eyes were burning and the tears I wanted to shed refused to come. I fell asleep resting against Emmett and woke up the same way.

I watched him as he slept, his face peaceful, the dimples in his cheek prominent even while asleep and his strong arms squeezed me a little tighter as I moved a bit.

I slid out of the bed and in to the bathroom, allowing myself only a moment to wallow before I splashed my face with water and left the bathroom, raiding Emmett's fridge as I made us both breakfast.

"Hey." He said as he woke up, stretching as I poured two cups of coffee. "You okay?"

"Yup." I said lightly and I took both cups over to the bed, sitting down to hand him one and look out the window.

"Rosie…" He said gently as he set his cup down on his nightstand. "Look at me."

I looked then and I felt my heart twist a little.

"It's okay not to be alright." He assured me and I nodded.

Because the truth was, I wasn't fine. I was as far from fine as I could possibly get but I had let someone break me before and I wasn't going to do it again. I had promised myself that long ago.

"I know."

We ate breakfast in silence and Emmett joked and I even managed to get a few laughs in. Because that was who we were and that was what we did. Even when my world was falling apart, I could still laugh along with him.

It was then, as I was laughing about the horrible impersonation Emmett was doing that I realized the difference between the two men. With Carlisle it was fire and ice. It was pain and longing. With Emmett it was warmth and comfort. It was happiness and contentment.

"Emmett?" I said quietly as we settled down on the couch together to watch one of his dumb movies.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

He smiled at me then, and reached out to pull me in to his arms and place a kiss on the top of my head.

"I know."

 **A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and the pm's (which I've gotten several.) This story has been written for months now, for the record, and I've only got one chapter left! I hope you've enjoyed this crazy ride (as much as some of you can.) Let me know what you're thinking!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
** **A/N: NSFW. Deals with adult subject matter. Sexual situations and a relationship between a younger woman and an adult male. Proceed with caution at your own risk**

 **Epilogue.**

A year had passed since the last time I had seen Carlisle.

It wasn't an easy year. The day my mother had returned home from her trip she had taken me out for my birthday. I had admitted to everything that had happened in the past six months and she had kicked me out.

I had ended up on Emmett's doorstep and he had welcomed me with open arms. Of course, Emmett always had open arms.

It took months before I was willing to let myself feel for Emmett. I had known all along I guess that I loved him, but I had been holding out, hopelessly, for the man I thought I had wanted; for a future I thought we could have.

I had been deluding myself and I could see that now. I went to a therapist who helped me deal with everything from my father leaving, to a boy named Royce who had broken my heart in upstate New York. It was the same therapist who encouraged me to write Carlisle a letter, telling him how I felt and it wasn't until I did that that I finally came to terms with the idea that I had been a naïve kid who thought happily ever after's existed and all I had to do was wait for my knight in shining armor.

The same therapist encouraged me to let Emmett in and I finally did.

Which was how I found myself sitting between him and Alice as they fought over who got to do the first shot with the birthday girl, aka me.

"Can we at least finish dinner first?" I asked around a bite of spaghetti and I tried not to get anything on the white dress Alice had insisted I wear.

"Yeah, yeah." Alice grumbled and Emmett smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. "Oh look! My aunt is finally here!"

I had met Alice's aunt Esme a few times and I had to agree, she was quite possibly the sweetest woman I had ever encountered.

"Hi Esme." I said as she approached the table.

"Hello Rosalie." She said softly as she handed me a card. "Sorry I'm late, I hope you don't mind, I brought a date."

"Did you finally bring the mysterious boyfriend we've heard all about?" Alice chuckled and Esme shot her a glare.

"She met him at work, apparently interoffice dating is frowned upon." Jasper piped up from Alice's other side. "We ordered for you. Hope that's okay."

"That's great." Esme smiled at him. "We're starving."

Emmett leaned down to kiss my ear and I turned just as he did, his lips meeting mine as a chair pulled out across the table before we both turned as Esme's date sat down.

Emmett choked and I felt my eyes widen as Carlisle sat down opposite us. "Hello Rosalie."

"You know each other?" Esme asked softly and all I could do was nod as Emmett's hand gripped my thigh a little too tightly under the table.

I smiled as I reached down and slipped my hand in to his, giving him a reassuring squeeze as I nodded to Esme. "We've met before."

I looked at Carlisle then as he smiled at me kindly and I didn't see any of the emotions that were there the last time we talked. Instead I saw only happiness and for once, I was grateful.

We all ate dinner, making small talk, and Alice passed Esme the wine bottle which she promptly declined.

"Don't like red?" Emmett asked with a laugh and I looked on as Esme blushed and looked to Carlisle who sat up a little straighter in his chair and I caught as his eyes darted to me and then back to Esme.

"Congratulations." I said as the others slowly caught up and I could feel Emmett relax against me as he realized what I had figured out.

"Thank you." Esme said quietly. "It's a surprise but we're happy. I didn't want to say anything on your birthday."

I smiled and looked to Carlisle who smiled back before his eyes met Esme's once more.

We finished our dinner and as Alice insisted that we were going to a nearby bar, Emmett and Jasper left to retrieve the cars.

Esme excused herself to go to the bathroom and Alice followed suit and I find myself alone at a table with the man who had broken my heart.

"It's good to see you again." He said as I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. "You look happy."

I smiled then as I thought of Emmett and I nodded. "You do too."

It was his turn to smile then but it faded as he leaned forward in his chair. "I received your letter."

"Oh." I said dumbly and I looked toward the door, willing Emmett to return.

"I wrote one of my own." He said softly and he reached in to his jacket pocket, pulling out a small folded piece of paper. "I hope you'll read it."

Esme returned then and they wished me goodnight and happy birthday once more before they left and I spent the rest of the night celebrating with my friends.

It was only as I lay in bed that night, Emmett's arms wrapped around me as he asked me how I felt about seeing Carlisle that I even remembered the note at all. I slid out of bed and retrieved it from my purse, sliding back in to bed with him as I slowly unfolded it to read the words written there.

 _Rose,_

 _I received your letter today. I wish I could say that it didn't hurt me to read how much pain I caused you. I wish I could say that your words still don't hurt me today. I know that you have moved on and that was my hope._

 _I knew the moment I saw you that we shared something different. That first day in that kitchen all I could think about was your eyes and your hands on me. I knew it was wrong and yet I pursued it anyway. I still firmly attest that it was my fault for everything that happened despite your feelings otherwise._

 _Not a day goes by that I wish I hadn't done things differently, yet I know that one day those feelings will pass and I hope that they do for you as well. Because you deserve better._

 _And that is why I let you go. That is why I turned away from you. Because you deserved better._

 _When you told me you had slept with Emmett, I realized that you were fearful of my reaction and I was sickened with myself because I had been doing the same thing that you were so worried I would be upset about. It was for that reason I became angry. Not that you had, as you put, 'cheated' on me._

 _I did not, for one second, doubt your feelings for me. But as I said good-bye, I needed you to know that you were worth so much more and I had hoped that Emmett, or any other boy who came along after me, would make you feel that way._

 _It wasn't until that last day with you that I realized that you did deserve better. You deserved someone and_ _ **something**_ _far more than I could ever give to you and so I let you think that I was angry about Emmett. When you asked, and I answered that it was about him, I wasn't lying. It was about Emmett but not in the way you thought. It was about how easily your smiles came when he was around. How you didn't have to hide your feelings for him nor he for you. When I called him that day, I hoped that I was making the right choice and I hoped that one day, you could forgive me for doing it._

 _Not a day goes by that I don't regret one thing or another Rose but know that you changed me far more than I could have ever changed you. Thank you Rosalie, with all my heart._

 _Carlisle Cullen_

I swallowed as I read through the letter once more and then turned to face Emmett. "He called you?"

Emmett nodded, brow furrowed. "I thought you knew. He said you gave him my number and asked me to pick you up. He didn't tell me the details but I kind of figured it out once I got to you."

I breathed out then, letting the words sink in before I turned and placed the letter on the bedside table.

"I'm sorry Ro." Emmett said gently and I turned to see him frowning deeply.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked as I rolled back in to him, wrapping my arms around his toned chest before I placed a kiss there.

"That you had to see him. That you had to go through that at all…"

"I'm not." I cut him off as I used my feet to push myself up his chest. "It's because of him that I know who I am. That I know I'm right where I want to be."

Emmett smiled as he leaned down, capturing my lips with his and I let him as the thoughts of the man who had once stolen my heart and ran away with it flitted away from my mind. Because if there was one thing I learned from Carlisle it was that the past was the past and there was no turning back and as Emmett and I made love, I knew I would never want to.

 **A/N: I love all of your favorites, reviews, follows, messages. All of it. Thank you for giving this story a chance. I know some of you were grossed out and some of you were hoping that Carlisle and Rose would end up together. However, I honestly get tired sometimes of the perfect, happy endings. Sometimes it's okay not to be happy and it's okay to not be with your first love. I hope you enjoyed reading this crazy, twisted story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Also I'm not done. Stay tuned for more crazy, twisted stories to come (and some of you may get your wish. ;D )**


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